After the emotional turmoil of unexpectedly losing my father, I found myself looking to art as a means of coping. Having lost a prominent figure in my life that grounded my family, a long series of changes came after and took what felt like an eternity to resolve. Event after event seemed to occupy my life and pushing off necessary time to sit with my new normal.

The evening my dad passed; I was alone, and I was tempted to partake in harmful actions towards myself. It would’ve broken his heart and that’s what made me pause. Looking to redirect myself, I cut off the lid of an old pizza box that was waiting to be thrown away. The blank cardboard presented itself as a sacrifice. I broke out my paints and through my tears, looked to my surroundings. I painted my dorm fridge with the color straight from the tube; a bright blue. What I knew was what I could see. So, I kept painting. That way I didn’t have to think. My roommate's plants, fridge magnets of locations, and the fallen Christmas lights were there with me in that moment.

Finally, during my senior year, I feel like things have slowed for the better. I can now think and reflect. The pizza box lid has followed me as an important piece, and I have looked for ways to expand on that night in ways that were meaningful. I have collected places, and photos that are important to the narrative of me and my dad’s story. Through colors used as a basis for process color mixing, I created this show for those to also sit and reflect.